10 Feb 2007

When the tooth fairy called

Ever since I was a kid I dreaded going to the dentist.In fact you have got to be a hard core macho to pay to get your teeth yanked out.99% of my readers will agree to this statement.The 1% fall in the category of BASE jumpers,stunt motorcyclists,snowboarders,skydivers and such other intrepid souls.Personally speaking,most of my teeth fell out naturally.Others were not so lucky.The horror stories were always told by the victims' mothers,aunts and sundry relatives.Come to think of it,I have never heard any kid telling me how much s/he was in pain . Maybe immediately after they get their tooth out they are engaged in clutching their jaws and bawling to high heavens to hold a meaningful conversation.And after the pain has passed they are too busy demonstrating how they could spit out differently through the gap to talk to you.Then again,they have other weighty matters on their minds.Kids are complex beasts,if you ask me.

I feel I am digressing,however.About a couple of months back I was suddenly suffering from excruciating pain in my left molar.I could not eat cold or hot,could not chew with that teeth without waves of pain shooting through the nerves.My symptoms were indicative of an infected root and would require root canal treatment-this was the judgement pronounced by the in-house pundits at the hostel.And that was going to blow a large hole in the pocket,somewhere in the range of 4000 bucks.And for a fellow who has a weekly budget of 200 bucks,that's a lot of dough.I was sadly thinking what I could have bought with that much-a 80GB hard disk , 256 MB memory stick
....you get my drift.Now some sadistic dentist would drill my teeth,inflict torture which would rival the inquisitors of the Spanish Inquisition and on top of that,get paid for his "services" by me.Whoever said it ain't a fair world,I would say never words more truly spoken.

Like a man going to the sacrificial altar I was sitting in a sort of contraption ,with a light bulb shining into my face, the dentist tsktsking as she peered into my cavity while a drill was whirring away like mad.I was freaking, and if I had not my reputation to maintain as a strapping young lad I would have hightailed from that place as if the devil was behind me.But that blasted ego held me in place.After minutes which felt like hours to me,she pronounced the judgement.Turned out that it was not as bad as I had feared.No root canal,but a minor filling would apparently do the trick.
"Doc,would there be pain?"I asked her.

With a smile half bordering on amusement and half bordering on exasperation she said,"Don't you worry about pain.I will fix you up properly."And she did that.For once,the dentist was not bullshitting.There was no pain,and to sweeten the deal she charged me 100 bucks for the filling and 200 bucks for cleaning .I was thinking maybe I could still get hold of that 80 GB of digital real estate.

But is life ever simple ?No.Things have a bad habit of screwing you up.In my case a blister was the death of me,or more specifically my molar.One fine morning ten days back a blister appeared below it.No pain,but I rather liked the dentist and felt there was no harm in paying a casual visit.As they say,prevention is better than cure.This time I was more confident in climbing into the chair.She switched the light in,and after fiddling pronounced,"There seems to be some sort of infection and would require root canal at the minimum.If it has spread you could also loose your tooth."

This hit me right between my eyes,to say the least.I mean this was the stuff my worst nightmares were made of!!I am not a sissy but I don't get my kicks off by experiencing pain and most certainly,blood loss in this case.Just for the sake of treatment she gave me a few anti inflammatory drugs but two days later when I trooped back there was no change in swelling.So the grinder had to come out.I strapped myself in,so to speak and got two shots of local anaesthetic.The needles pinched but otherwise it was ok.When my left side had swollen up sufficiently to look like I had been socked in a bar brawl , I was hauled back and told to open my mouth and face my destiny.It was payback time,for all the days when I did not brush,floss or mouthwash after a meal.And payback,as they say is a bitch.

I was expecting a pliers of some sort.Because when I use the expression yank,I had the image of a nail being pulled out of a wooden board.But dental methods must have advanced more than language .Because I saw a sort of miniature lever,of the first class with the fulcrum as the root and resistance the molar.And she applied all of her womanly strength until I could feel the bite of pain through my numb jaws and the scrunch of the root as it separated from the jawline. According to the expert I had developed an extra root which was responsible for the swelling.As if it was supposed to make me feel special!!With the blood flowing like water from a broken water main,cotton was stuffed and the first wad promptly turned red and got fully soaked.The second wad was able to stem the flow.With strict instructions not to spit out come what may,I left the office .But like a moron,I spat out mouthfuls of blood after about an hour,feeling like a vampire.With the blood flow nowhere near stopping I had to go to the doc again where I was promptly reprimanded for my flagrant disobedience and told to move around with an ice pack.Some pills helped to stem the flow of blood,swallowing also helped but the life saver was definitely those humble blocks of ice which I popped into my mouth.It felt weird,comfortably numb like in the Pink Floyd song.But this numbness was due to cold and loss of blood.Felt interesting,though I did not hallucinate.After two hours or so,the blood flow and pain went away.But I took no more chances.And so for the first time in my life went to bed with two dozen bananas and 250 grams of grapes.Quite filling ,I must say.

Apart from spitting weirdly until I got the hang of it,it felt same.The gap in my back feels like a lost friend.Moral of the story..All ye sinners take care of your fangs,or ye will suffer unto yourself pain that thou won't wish upon thine worst enemies.Amen

4 Feb 2007

Boulevard of Joggin' Dreams

About four years ago I landed in my college,SVNIT.The rooms were cramped,the food just enough for survival and the classes and professors dull.But one thing I will not bitch about is the state of its connecting roads.For a guy who has had to trudge through mud every rainy day of his life,walking on a black topped road without getting a single clod of mud in rainy season was something novel.So I began thinking,why not take advantage of this.I mean I was badly out of shape and short winded.Seemed jogging on these all weather roads would be the easiest and fastest way of getting back to shape.You only had to get a pair of running shoes,wake up in the morning and bingo!All excess flab out.

Seemed too easy.Its always like this-good intentions but not enough follow up action.You see this sort of thing all around .I knew there would be a catch,there always is.Here the catch was the waking up part.It was too difficult to get out of bed and slog like some grunt on say ,a chilly morning.After all,why take the trouble-the voice with the prongs and the forked tail was saying.The voice with the halo,drowned out was down and out.And so while I did not get any fatter,I certainly did not get fitter.One day it was cold,another day plain lazy ,still another day was night outs.But the end result was same.Except for some sporadic mornings when struck by guilt I would half heartedly crawl out of the bed and go through the motions of stretching my legs,running a few metres until I would gasp for breath like a fish out of the water and convince myself that next time would be better.But there was no next time,and the jinx was never broken.

Until something snapped suddenly a few days ago.I did not know where the push came from,but I guess the realisation that those roads would no longer be a part of my life after 4 months was the trigger.I also had a neighbor who was trying to get up in the morning for the last three years .So we worked out a nice scheme.This guy had a sister who was an early bird.So she would give him a missed call,he would wake up and then wake me up.The first morning,as usual,I panted for breath after the usual 100 meters.But thinking enough was enough,and also the thing that my neighbor was with me,I pushed ahead.We had to think of dream up many incentives to keep going.One trick was to promise to rest once after crossing a tree.Or if there was a chick ahead jogging,I would say to myself old boy,have a look at her arse from close up and we will stop this running.Of course,after I had a good look there would be another arse some distance ahead and there was the need for an expert comparison. Basically I was able to persuade myself until the leg muscles plainly threatened to crumble under me.There would be cramps and aches the whole day,but frankly there were no thoughts of turning back.
We continued for three days until there was no need for promises of anatomical appraisal to keep going ahead.Once or twice old habits threatened to kick in,but I was able to sufficienly shame myself to put on my shoes.And once that was done,I would have looked silly if I did not run.So the trick is to get out of bed and wear the shoes without thinking.No more pain now,and only a little panting .I feel fine,just fine.And another advantage-I am not missing early morning classes or breakfasts.Though I still sleep late.Now if only something could be done to remedy that.
by TemplatesForYouTFY
SoSuechtig