One phase of my life is over, another is about to begin. Professionally, that is. Personally I have already got into another territory altogether, a state of mind where people get blind and go around the world.
The thing is, I am no longer employed. I quit my job at Digit and now am searching for another job. I will get one eventually but there is going to be a wait. The one question, actually two questions I have been getting are: Why? and Why didn't you wait until you had an offer?
Why indeed? Sometimes it happens that you loose the will to work. Life becomes a routine and feels monotonous. You don't want to wake up in the morning, you don't want to do your daily routines and go for work. You lose that fire inside you when you feel that you are being cheated, that you are wasting your time.
Right now things are normal on the surface. I am serving out my notice period and there has been no change in the daily routine. I still come in, do my research, write out the articles, talk to people and go home late in the night. What has changed is the fact that I will be getting out of my comfort zone and learning some new stuff. Good stuff and exciting stuff, I hope.
Showing posts with label philosophy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label philosophy. Show all posts
14 Jul 2008
4 Feb 2007
Boulevard of Joggin' Dreams
About four years ago I landed in my college,SVNIT.The rooms were cramped,the food just enough for survival and the classes and professors dull.But one thing I will not bitch about is the state of its connecting roads.For a guy who has had to trudge through mud every rainy day of his life,walking on a black topped road without getting a single clod of mud in rainy season was something novel.So I began thinking,why not take advantage of this.I mean I was badly out of shape and short winded.Seemed jogging on these all weather roads would be the easiest and fastest way of getting back to shape.You only had to get a pair of running shoes,wake up in the morning and bingo!All excess flab out.
Seemed too easy.Its always like this-good intentions but not enough follow up action.You see this sort of thing all around .I knew there would be a catch,there always is.Here the catch was the waking up part.It was too difficult to get out of bed and slog like some grunt on say ,a chilly morning.After all,why take the trouble-the voice with the prongs and the forked tail was saying.The voice with the halo,drowned out was down and out.And so while I did not get any fatter,I certainly did not get fitter.One day it was cold,another day plain lazy ,still another day was night outs.But the end result was same.Except for some sporadic mornings when struck by guilt I would half heartedly crawl out of the bed and go through the motions of stretching my legs,running a few metres until I would gasp for breath like a fish out of the water and convince myself that next time would be better.But there was no next time,and the jinx was never broken.
Until something snapped suddenly a few days ago.I did not know where the push came from,but I guess the realisation that those roads would no longer be a part of my life after 4 months was the trigger.I also had a neighbor who was trying to get up in the morning for the last three years .So we worked out a nice scheme.This guy had a sister who was an early bird.So she would give him a missed call,he would wake up and then wake me up.The first morning,as usual,I panted for breath after the usual 100 meters.But thinking enough was enough,and also the thing that my neighbor was with me,I pushed ahead.We had to think of dream up many incentives to keep going.One trick was to promise to rest once after crossing a tree.Or if there was a chick ahead jogging,I would say to myself old boy,have a look at her arse from close up and we will stop this running.Of course,after I had a good look there would be another arse some distance ahead and there was the need for an expert comparison. Basically I was able to persuade myself until the leg muscles plainly threatened to crumble under me.There would be cramps and aches the whole day,but frankly there were no thoughts of turning back.
We continued for three days until there was no need for promises of anatomical appraisal to keep going ahead.Once or twice old habits threatened to kick in,but I was able to sufficienly shame myself to put on my shoes.And once that was done,I would have looked silly if I did not run.So the trick is to get out of bed and wear the shoes without thinking.No more pain now,and only a little panting .I feel fine,just fine.And another advantage-I am not missing early morning classes or breakfasts.Though I still sleep late.Now if only something could be done to remedy that.
Seemed too easy.Its always like this-good intentions but not enough follow up action.You see this sort of thing all around .I knew there would be a catch,there always is.Here the catch was the waking up part.It was too difficult to get out of bed and slog like some grunt on say ,a chilly morning.After all,why take the trouble-the voice with the prongs and the forked tail was saying.The voice with the halo,drowned out was down and out.And so while I did not get any fatter,I certainly did not get fitter.One day it was cold,another day plain lazy ,still another day was night outs.But the end result was same.Except for some sporadic mornings when struck by guilt I would half heartedly crawl out of the bed and go through the motions of stretching my legs,running a few metres until I would gasp for breath like a fish out of the water and convince myself that next time would be better.But there was no next time,and the jinx was never broken.
Until something snapped suddenly a few days ago.I did not know where the push came from,but I guess the realisation that those roads would no longer be a part of my life after 4 months was the trigger.I also had a neighbor who was trying to get up in the morning for the last three years .So we worked out a nice scheme.This guy had a sister who was an early bird.So she would give him a missed call,he would wake up and then wake me up.The first morning,as usual,I panted for breath after the usual 100 meters.But thinking enough was enough,and also the thing that my neighbor was with me,I pushed ahead.We had to think of dream up many incentives to keep going.One trick was to promise to rest once after crossing a tree.Or if there was a chick ahead jogging,I would say to myself old boy,have a look at her arse from close up and we will stop this running.Of course,after I had a good look there would be another arse some distance ahead and there was the need for an expert comparison. Basically I was able to persuade myself until the leg muscles plainly threatened to crumble under me.There would be cramps and aches the whole day,but frankly there were no thoughts of turning back.
We continued for three days until there was no need for promises of anatomical appraisal to keep going ahead.Once or twice old habits threatened to kick in,but I was able to sufficienly shame myself to put on my shoes.And once that was done,I would have looked silly if I did not run.So the trick is to get out of bed and wear the shoes without thinking.No more pain now,and only a little panting .I feel fine,just fine.And another advantage-I am not missing early morning classes or breakfasts.Though I still sleep late.Now if only something could be done to remedy that.
16 May 2006
Grand slam(s)
For the past few days have put a lot of strain on my nerves.you see the thing is that we are leaving college and many good friends are unlikely to see each other’s faces in entire life.So this is the last moment to savor friendships.And savoring friendship is done here by writing slam books.
And this is where I am at a strain.For the past few day I have filled at least 20 odd slam book.Now writing a slam book is different from writing answers in an exam.You have t pour your heart and soul into the job.And if you donot wite perfectly,there is a feeling of a job half done.These things remain forever and I want my work t olook and last good.
Writing them has forced me to examine a lot of feelings and reminisce a lot of memories.Hostel life was completely differently from that of home and we had tons of fun.All that went into the slam book.So nowadays I am walking about in a sort of haze where events from the past years with faces that you will probably,definitely never again see makes a jerk like me want to become sentimental.And guess what , I did.Let my emotions flow as they say you don’t keep anything bottled up if you want good health.Feeling much better now.
And this is where I am at a strain.For the past few day I have filled at least 20 odd slam book.Now writing a slam book is different from writing answers in an exam.You have t pour your heart and soul into the job.And if you donot wite perfectly,there is a feeling of a job half done.These things remain forever and I want my work t olook and last good.
Writing them has forced me to examine a lot of feelings and reminisce a lot of memories.Hostel life was completely differently from that of home and we had tons of fun.All that went into the slam book.So nowadays I am walking about in a sort of haze where events from the past years with faces that you will probably,definitely never again see makes a jerk like me want to become sentimental.And guess what , I did.Let my emotions flow as they say you don’t keep anything bottled up if you want good health.Feeling much better now.
24 Mar 2006
The week that was
Could not write for long for a variety of reasons, one being that the net connection was screwed up to my room and I don’t like to write my blog anywhere else.Okay,okay pretty lame excuse but I have got to offer one. Now to business. Since I was offline and unable to pen-in this case type, my thoughts only two events have stuck out .One was Holi, the festival of colors and another was a farewell party
Holi is always a cause for fun, but not so much if you are not sharing close living space with others, like in a block of flats. So while I was at home we just smeared a little powder other, wished each other and bathed the colors out. Now let me describe a typical Holi day at our hostel. After breakfast, bands of roving revelers, armed with drums and colors would tour each hostel. To the thunderous beat, colors would be smeared, .most of them grease based which take a thorough rubbing to get rid off. But that is only the beginning. Buckets of water are brought from the bathroom and indiscriminately splashed. Soon the corridor floor resembles a confusion of colors, along with faces, hair and t-shirts. With most of the colors finished and water splashing over the next phase is stripping. This starts with somebody pulling at his neighbor’s sleeve along the seams until the water soaked threads give way. The aim is not to just ruin one sleeve, but to rip the whole garment to pieces. Once this starts, a domino effect kicks in and soon there is no one with a whole shirt or tee on his back. But there are no frowns, only smiles and a lot of wishing and backslapping. After this most of the people head of to one of the hostels that is hosting a common mud fest and come back all muddied. Personally I skip this part. This time I also happened to be in a royal jam. I did not have soap and all the shops were closed. Here I was running around with all the hues of spectrum on my skin and head and face and stuck without any means of getting a decent bath.Thankfully, I managed a spare piece finally.
In the afternoon we had to eat out. But we had to walk a long way before getting an auto. Stuffing me with chicken, bird flu is hanged, along with mutton and prawn I ratcheted up an individual bill of record 191 bucks. It took all my willpower to drag myself to my room.
Another out of turn event was the farewell. This is an annual event organized by the student of each state to bid goodbye to their respective seniors leaving college. Gujarat being a dry state these gatherings take place on the beaches of Daman which is prohibition free .So the upshot is that everybody drinks .And some seriously passed out guys also give vent to their emotions by a sob or two .Lots of hugging and consoling takes place at the end of the day, with many admitting to their worst kept secrets. Heavy duty nostalgia kicks in on part of the seniors and reminiscences are all over the place, with every body promising not to forget one another. Some chaps get too drunk to eat while others vomit everything they have eaten under the influence of alcohol. Quite a waste of good food and drink is what I say. Speaking of myself I am no drinker. But this time I went over the limit, drinking everything except whisky and, of course, champagne!!!Surprisingly the cocktail in my belly made me hungrier and I did best what I do with good food-attack it with gusto. We hung around the beach till the burning sun sank below the horizon and got back to college by about midnight. A quick cold bath which meant some calisthenics under the gushing faucet and I was ready for bed. Zzzzzzzzz…!!!
Holi is always a cause for fun, but not so much if you are not sharing close living space with others, like in a block of flats. So while I was at home we just smeared a little powder other, wished each other and bathed the colors out. Now let me describe a typical Holi day at our hostel. After breakfast, bands of roving revelers, armed with drums and colors would tour each hostel. To the thunderous beat, colors would be smeared, .most of them grease based which take a thorough rubbing to get rid off. But that is only the beginning. Buckets of water are brought from the bathroom and indiscriminately splashed. Soon the corridor floor resembles a confusion of colors, along with faces, hair and t-shirts. With most of the colors finished and water splashing over the next phase is stripping. This starts with somebody pulling at his neighbor’s sleeve along the seams until the water soaked threads give way. The aim is not to just ruin one sleeve, but to rip the whole garment to pieces. Once this starts, a domino effect kicks in and soon there is no one with a whole shirt or tee on his back. But there are no frowns, only smiles and a lot of wishing and backslapping. After this most of the people head of to one of the hostels that is hosting a common mud fest and come back all muddied. Personally I skip this part. This time I also happened to be in a royal jam. I did not have soap and all the shops were closed. Here I was running around with all the hues of spectrum on my skin and head and face and stuck without any means of getting a decent bath.Thankfully, I managed a spare piece finally.
In the afternoon we had to eat out. But we had to walk a long way before getting an auto. Stuffing me with chicken, bird flu is hanged, along with mutton and prawn I ratcheted up an individual bill of record 191 bucks. It took all my willpower to drag myself to my room.
Another out of turn event was the farewell. This is an annual event organized by the student of each state to bid goodbye to their respective seniors leaving college. Gujarat being a dry state these gatherings take place on the beaches of Daman which is prohibition free .So the upshot is that everybody drinks .And some seriously passed out guys also give vent to their emotions by a sob or two .Lots of hugging and consoling takes place at the end of the day, with many admitting to their worst kept secrets. Heavy duty nostalgia kicks in on part of the seniors and reminiscences are all over the place, with every body promising not to forget one another. Some chaps get too drunk to eat while others vomit everything they have eaten under the influence of alcohol. Quite a waste of good food and drink is what I say. Speaking of myself I am no drinker. But this time I went over the limit, drinking everything except whisky and, of course, champagne!!!Surprisingly the cocktail in my belly made me hungrier and I did best what I do with good food-attack it with gusto. We hung around the beach till the burning sun sank below the horizon and got back to college by about midnight. A quick cold bath which meant some calisthenics under the gushing faucet and I was ready for bed. Zzzzzzzzz…!!!
21 Jan 2006
Man vs nature: a no win situation
This is old news, but it is damned serious. I am referring to the depleting forest wealth of India. The ravaging of forest areas by humans for their own needs like agriculture and development has impacted heavily on flora and fauna all over the world. And in this conflict the biosphere has take a beating. Hundreds of species of plants and animals are being wiped out daily or are on their path to oblivion. Take the case of India. Before the 20th century the number of tigers in India numbered 40,000* and in 2003 whittled down to 1576* in a census taken through 27 reserve forests. This drastic downfall can be only explained by man made causes like poaching and loss of environment. Since the tiger is at the top of the food chain, the population of tigers indicate the health of the eco system. And judging by these numbers, we are in real trouble simply because no matter how developed we become we are also a part of the environment. In two tiger reserves in north India –Sariska and Ranthambore the tiger population has almost been wiped out due to wide poaching, prompting a CBI inquiry. In fact in Sariska there have been no sightings since Jan 2005.**.The situation is not exactly rosy in other reserves.
A second example is the man –elephant conflict. People have encroached into elephant corridors and forests causing loss of habitat. Hence elephants destroy standing crops causing enormous economic loss.Hunderds of people have lost their lives .Elephants are also slaughtered for ivory which has a large market oveseas.One name comes to mind –Verappan.This notorious poacher ,now dead had killed thousands of elephants for ivory and had cut down tons of sandalwood trees. But the scourge is not eliminated Other poachers, mostly in cahoots with some crooked forest officials are still in business.
Regarding other species, the story is pretty much the same.Leopards, bears, deer, turtles and thousand others are struggling for their existence. Even birds are not spared. But in this overall picture of gloom, there are some silver linings. One example is the Kaziranga National Park in Assam, the only refuge of one horned Indian rhino. A hundred years ago, the population of rhinos barely ran into double digits. A century of dedicated conservation efforts battling obstacles like flood and poachers, who kill rhinos for the highly valued horn have resulted in their rise to 1600***.If this process can be replicated for other species also we stand a chance of reversing the tide. All of us owe to our future generations to leave behind our priceless natural heritage intact
*Project Tiger
**Indian Express
***Kaziranga
A second example is the man –elephant conflict. People have encroached into elephant corridors and forests causing loss of habitat. Hence elephants destroy standing crops causing enormous economic loss.Hunderds of people have lost their lives .Elephants are also slaughtered for ivory which has a large market oveseas.One name comes to mind –Verappan.This notorious poacher ,now dead had killed thousands of elephants for ivory and had cut down tons of sandalwood trees. But the scourge is not eliminated Other poachers, mostly in cahoots with some crooked forest officials are still in business.
Regarding other species, the story is pretty much the same.Leopards, bears, deer, turtles and thousand others are struggling for their existence. Even birds are not spared. But in this overall picture of gloom, there are some silver linings. One example is the Kaziranga National Park in Assam, the only refuge of one horned Indian rhino. A hundred years ago, the population of rhinos barely ran into double digits. A century of dedicated conservation efforts battling obstacles like flood and poachers, who kill rhinos for the highly valued horn have resulted in their rise to 1600***.If this process can be replicated for other species also we stand a chance of reversing the tide. All of us owe to our future generations to leave behind our priceless natural heritage intact
*Project Tiger
**Indian Express
***Kaziranga
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