When the tooth fairy called

Ever since I was a kid I dreaded going to the dentist.In fact you have got to be a hard core macho to pay to get your teeth yanked out.99% of my readers will agree to this statement.The 1% fall in the category of BASE jumpers,stunt motorcyclists,snowboarders,skydivers and such other intrepid souls.Personally speaking,most of my teeth fell out naturally.Others were not so lucky.The horror stories were always told by the victims' mothers,aunts and sundry relatives.Come to think of it,I have never heard any kid telling me how much s/he was in pain . Maybe immediately after they get their tooth out they are engaged in clutching their jaws and bawling to high heavens to hold a meaningful conversation.And after the pain has passed they are too busy demonstrating how they could spit out differently through the gap to talk to you.Then again,they have other weighty matters on their minds.Kids are complex beasts,if you ask me.

I feel I am digressing,however.About a couple of months back I was suddenly suffering from excruciating pain in my left molar.I could not eat cold or hot,could not chew with that teeth without waves of pain shooting through the nerves.My symptoms were indicative of an infected root and would require root canal treatment-this was the judgement pronounced by the in-house pundits at the hostel.And that was going to blow a large hole in the pocket,somewhere in the range of 4000 bucks.And for a fellow who has a weekly budget of 200 bucks,that's a lot of dough.I was sadly thinking what I could have bought with that much-a 80GB hard disk , 256 MB memory stick
....you get my drift.Now some sadistic dentist would drill my teeth,inflict torture which would rival the inquisitors of the Spanish Inquisition and on top of that,get paid for his "services" by me.Whoever said it ain't a fair world,I would say never words more truly spoken.

Like a man going to the sacrificial altar I was sitting in a sort of contraption ,with a light bulb shining into my face, the dentist tsktsking as she peered into my cavity while a drill was whirring away like mad.I was freaking, and if I had not my reputation to maintain as a strapping young lad I would have hightailed from that place as if the devil was behind me.But that blasted ego held me in place.After minutes which felt like hours to me,she pronounced the judgement.Turned out that it was not as bad as I had feared.No root canal,but a minor filling would apparently do the trick.
"Doc,would there be pain?"I asked her.

With a smile half bordering on amusement and half bordering on exasperation she said,"Don't you worry about pain.I will fix you up properly."And she did that.For once,the dentist was not bullshitting.There was no pain,and to sweeten the deal she charged me 100 bucks for the filling and 200 bucks for cleaning .I was thinking maybe I could still get hold of that 80 GB of digital real estate.

But is life ever simple ?No.Things have a bad habit of screwing you up.In my case a blister was the death of me,or more specifically my molar.One fine morning ten days back a blister appeared below it.No pain,but I rather liked the dentist and felt there was no harm in paying a casual visit.As they say,prevention is better than cure.This time I was more confident in climbing into the chair.She switched the light in,and after fiddling pronounced,"There seems to be some sort of infection and would require root canal at the minimum.If it has spread you could also loose your tooth."

This hit me right between my eyes,to say the least.I mean this was the stuff my worst nightmares were made of!!I am not a sissy but I don't get my kicks off by experiencing pain and most certainly,blood loss in this case.Just for the sake of treatment she gave me a few anti inflammatory drugs but two days later when I trooped back there was no change in swelling.So the grinder had to come out.I strapped myself in,so to speak and got two shots of local anaesthetic.The needles pinched but otherwise it was ok.When my left side had swollen up sufficiently to look like I had been socked in a bar brawl , I was hauled back and told to open my mouth and face my destiny.It was payback time,for all the days when I did not brush,floss or mouthwash after a meal.And payback,as they say is a bitch.

I was expecting a pliers of some sort.Because when I use the expression yank,I had the image of a nail being pulled out of a wooden board.But dental methods must have advanced more than language .Because I saw a sort of miniature lever,of the first class with the fulcrum as the root and resistance the molar.And she applied all of her womanly strength until I could feel the bite of pain through my numb jaws and the scrunch of the root as it separated from the jawline. According to the expert I had developed an extra root which was responsible for the swelling.As if it was supposed to make me feel special!!With the blood flowing like water from a broken water main,cotton was stuffed and the first wad promptly turned red and got fully soaked.The second wad was able to stem the flow.With strict instructions not to spit out come what may,I left the office .But like a moron,I spat out mouthfuls of blood after about an hour,feeling like a vampire.With the blood flow nowhere near stopping I had to go to the doc again where I was promptly reprimanded for my flagrant disobedience and told to move around with an ice pack.Some pills helped to stem the flow of blood,swallowing also helped but the life saver was definitely those humble blocks of ice which I popped into my mouth.It felt weird,comfortably numb like in the Pink Floyd song.But this numbness was due to cold and loss of blood.Felt interesting,though I did not hallucinate.After two hours or so,the blood flow and pain went away.But I took no more chances.And so for the first time in my life went to bed with two dozen bananas and 250 grams of grapes.Quite filling ,I must say.

Apart from spitting weirdly until I got the hang of it,it felt same.The gap in my back feels like a lost friend.Moral of the story..All ye sinners take care of your fangs,or ye will suffer unto yourself pain that thou won't wish upon thine worst enemies.Amen